Suicide is sexy. Suicide is sexual. Suicide is sexual perversion.

In “Bondage and Suicide,” Robert Litman and Charles Swearingen identify a shared dynamic between masochism — including erotic pleasure derived from humiliation, enslavement, and binding — and suicide: namely, isolation, depression, and self-destructiveness.[1]

In turn, the lines between masochism and suicide, as pleasure and pain, may blur in the enactment of sexual practices. Neck binding and partial asphyxiation flirt with or dare death as a vital aspect of sexual gratification. Sometimes the acts involve sexual partners. Sometimes the individual goes solo. And sometimes death has its day. Often the ruling is “suicide by accident.” Sometimes an individual decides to embrace death fully.

Litman and Swearingen describe the following:

In a cheap hotel the maid discovered a 30-year-old man hanging in a closet. The bizarrely costume body was hanging by its neck by a chain which had been looped around the neck with a small padlock holding the chain in place. The end of the chain had been placed around the clothes hanger rails on either side of the closet and were brought down to the body where they were attached to a short length of rope which was looped around each leg at the crotch and attached to the ends of the chain by a small padlock on either side. There were two notes. The first note said that he had often in the past masturbated by bringing himself just to the edge of death. He knew of several persons who had died unexpectedly when they lost control of their sexual-strangulation scenes. This time, however, he meant to go all the way to death.[2]

The second note includes the final passage:

Quivering with excitement, I just stand and swish the lovely skirts about my legs. I know what I’m going to do next. I’m really terrified by the sadistic thrill. It is 9:35 Sunday night and in three minutes I will be dead. I strike the match and set fire to the gossamer edge of the black nylon slip. Quickly I wrap the chain around my wrists and snap the padlock firmly. In a frenzy of passion, I kick the chair over and my body is spasming at the end of the chain noose. I come wildly, madly. The pain is intense as my clothes start to burn by legs. My eyes bulge and I try and reach the keys, knowing I have finally found the courage to end a horrible nightmare life dangerously.

The practice and its effects are not reserved for adults. In “Adolescent Autoerotic Deaths,” William Sheehan and Barry Garfinkel report on thirty-one hanging deaths due to autoerotic asphyxia. And, hanging is only one method among many that achieves orgasm or death. Often plastic bags are sealed around the head. [2]

An individual may also go above and beyond.

In “Complex Autoerotic Death with Full Body Wrapping in a Plastic Body Bag,” Morgan Schellenberg et al. report that a subset of autoerotic deaths involve “overdressing/body wrapping.” In these instances, the individual fashions a full-sized plastic bag, sealing himself up in it. Often, the individual employs other paraphernalia, such as pornographic material, red boxing gloves, motor oil, duct tape, aerosol spray, dresses, and female undergarments. Sometimes, a hole is cut in the clothing to expose the genitalia. Often there are signs of masturbation.[3]

Blanchard and Hucker report on 117 fatal cases of autoerotic asphyxia by transvestites, involving bondage and paraphilic activities. In some instances, masturbation and asphyxia was accompanied by anal stimulation with dildos or self-observation with a mirror or camera. Some scenes indicate an elaborate ritual of masturbation and asphyxiation, accompanied by anal stimulation or self-observation with a mirror or camera, for instance.[4]

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[1] Litman and Swearingen, “Bondage and Suicide,” Archives of General Psychiatry 27, no. 1 (1972): 80-5.
[2] Sheehan and Garfinkel, “Adolescent Autoerotic Deaths,” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 27, no. 3 (1988): 367-70.
[3] Schellenberg, Racette, and Sauvageau, “Complex Autoerotic Death with Full Body Wrapping in a Plastic Body Bag,” Journal of Forensic Sciences 52, no. 4 (2007): 954-6.
[4] Blanchard and Hucker, “Age, Transvestism, Bondage, and Concurrent Paraphilic Activities in 117 Fatal Cases of Autoerotic Asphyxia,” British Journal of Psychiatry 159 (1991): 371-7.

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Turn the page and now we are back in the medical room with yet another pregnant couple and a giant rabbit with big floppy ears, a white coat, and a stethoscope. Next to the rabbit doctor is a nurse rabbit who is a little too curvy and alluring for a children’s book. Her long lashes and sultry eyes are directed at the doctor and not at the patients, and her chest heaves from behind a low-cut uniform that can’t be standard issue. A little cotton tail peeks out from behind her full and fertile hips.

And below reads:

Nothing that is now managed and controlled by medical sciences to this extent is a miracle, the extent being a rabbit who is fully qualified to practice medicine, which is leaps and bounds beyond what was possible even a century ago.

The truth is most parents don’t want a miracle baby. They don’t want to throw their hands to the heavens and hope for the best. They want the greatest degree of certainty, made possible by highest quality medical care with trained rabbits and state of the art technology. Nothing should be left to chance and there should never be the need for a miracle since a miracle happens for no apparent reason and more or less out of the blue, and generally they do not happen at all and cannot be relied on. Recall that Jesus Christ performed miracles but they were one-offs. A blind person here. A few lepers there. He worked a wedding. He worked a funeral. He once but only once fed five thousand people from just a few fishes and a single basket of loaves of bread and people were amazed.

Imagine if he done that same trick for a crowd of billions day after day. People would not call him Christ. They would think of him as a broken vending machine that can’t stop dispensing, and expect more of the same next time and every time. Instead of being mystified and grateful they would feel entitled, too weak to temper their hungers and too strong in demanding to be fed. They would have risen up if he refused them more food or a better variety. Fish and bread again?, they would say. Would it crucify you to add some vegetables for a balanced diet? How about pies and candies to give life real sweetness? Jesus Christ, they cry out, is that too much to ask?

Or imagine Jesus showing up in the town squares one day. He begins healing people of their illnesses. No cancer for you. Sayonara heart disease. Hello and goodbye, dementia. Day after day he lines them up and knocks them down. Slain in the spirit and healed like nobody’s business. Word spreads and soon a line forms and snakes through the streets and stretches out past the city limits into the hills. And still they flock to him from throughout the land. Pilgrimages organized by travel companies trek, in chartered buses mostly, to this new holy place with the promise of miracles. Heal us!, they cry out to Christ. And feed us too. Let’s do both.