Suicide is death before captivity, death before defeat, dishonor, and shame.

In the Moralia, Plutarch memorializes the Spartan command, mother to son: return with your shield or return upon it. In the Middle Ages, the chivalric Order of the Star ordains of its knights the very same. It is the last, full measure of devotion.

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Minois, History, 11

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A window into wincing at being by way of meaning is what is called psychache. Psychache is human pain as thwarted or distorted human hunger, according to a leading psychacheologist, meaning wanting so much to thrive in whatever that might mean and instead encountering thwart at decisive moments in life’s journey. Psychache is pain produced as the drama of the mind, quote unquote, meaning wanting the story of a human life rich in meaning by way of thriving-hungers satiated when the world within and all around literally always only tantalizes in the truest sense instead.

More to the point psychache is human pain as a growing perplexion that when you move the world moves against you. That what you try to do is futile accordingly. There is no triumphant arc or happy ending or adding up to your story despite all the stories you are told that portray and promise it. There is only pain at constantly being thwarted and the echo of thwart that reverberates until you become its mere tuning fork for very yourself. You now begin to discern the inner workings of the universe marking lazy time by your disappointments. And so you wince, a whipped dog anticipating the whippings and wincing in remembrance of the same.

The error, according to experts, is that not thriving to this point in life’s journey is not the end of the story and that therapy (along with heavy medication and long-term institutionalization, as needed) can chart a course to more and better life. For the psychacheologist, this analysis of psychache as human pain as thwart-become-suicide simply requires prevention, the I on your Suicide BINGO card if you remember to play along. A solution must be struck upon and the solution is, generally, wedging hope between life and death. Hopefulness is the key to finding meaning as renewed hunger for a better tomorrow. Please still hunger and now add hope. And so the moral of the story is don’t despair and don’t give up. Your story is not over. Hope in expectus, in your heart of hearts, and I promise that one day you too can, for instance, find yourself racing across a battlefield sent to slaughter the enemy while shells rain down. You too can win salesman of the year and nurse the glory in a full and complete life. There is a better tomorrow waiting for you. I promise.